As a junior reporter
writing for a local daily,you have been asked to write a short article on the
suicide problem among teenagers.Your
article should integrate all the information given below.You should write 150
to 200 words.
Suicide Problem Among Teenagers
by Rainie Yang
The
chart above illustrated that the suicide rates among teenagers in year 2005.The
countries that always involved in this problem were Australia,United States,New
Zealand and United Kingdom.There were the differences suicide among teenagers
between this four countries and the causes of the teens suicide in 2005.
Based on the bar graph,the number of
suicide cases was the highest in USA(200 cases) followed by U.K and Australia
and the lowest number of suicide cases was New Zealand(50 cases).There were a lot
of differences in the number of suicide cases between the lowest and the
highest which is 150.It was about three quarter of the teen suicides in 2005 was
physiological disorder especially depression that show it was the main reason
why the teen commit suicides.Hence the other factors were misuse of alcohol and
drugs which having the same rate with the factor about lack relationships with
parents and peers.Whereas,the minor factor was suffered physical and sexual
abuse.
In the other word,this investigation can
be concluded that there were many cases of teen suicides occur year by year.This
must be prevented immediately so that the rates of people suicide decreased every year.Parents should
play vital.This problem must be dealt seriously.
(194 words)
Assalamualaikum wbt.
ReplyDeletefor the last paragraph you've stated:"this must be prevented immediately so that no people die every year(?)".Can we be sure that there is not even a single death for a year?thought you should add something to this sentence..
Assalamualaikum.. Hope you have a happy day today!! I think you must use past tense in your article because it had happen already. Furthermore, you must include title and the author in your article. May Allah bless us!!
ReplyDeleteWaalaikumussallam..w.b.t..thank you for your meanigful comments..i had edited our post..Hope u guys be happy with them.
DeleteI think there is something rong with the grammar for this sentence:
ReplyDeleteHence the other factors were misuse of alcohol and drugs which having the same rate with the factor about lack relationships with parents and peers.
-shouldn't it be:
Hence the other factors were misuse of alcohol and drugs which have the same rate with the factor for lack of relationships between parents and peers.
-this is only based on my opinion but i hope you will take it into consideration, thank you